I'm sorry

I'm sorry for letting you slip away so easily..
I'm sorry for letting you sleep alone tonight.
I'm sorry if the thought of me makes you cry
I'm sorry for letting us get this far..

All these tasteless fights.. that drowned our nights.
All these feelings floating through the dreams that gets us by.
All the memories that replays itself over and over..
you can blame them on me.. over and forever.

I'm sorry for not loving you enough
I'm sorry for not running after you
I'm sorry for all the times i left you alone.
I'm sorry for letting our promises waste away..

All the time we held it all.. can not believe it vanished though air.
All the time i use to hold you tight. now losing you isnt so fair.
All the feelings i kepted locked up in this place i call love..
  wont escape from the fate i let us bleed in..
All the depression that dwells under this skin.. i live in.

I'm sorry for saying goodbye to you so early..
I'm sorry for letting you think i wasnt enough..
I'm sorry for letting you feel two wasnt a good number..
I'm sorry for not thinking it through.

All the times i held the doors open.. i still do but no one comes in
All the times i say ladies first.. but im alone so whats worse?
All the time i stare at the pictures we took together
  dont even know if i should cry or burn them..
All the times when i use to stare into your eyes..
now i can only picture them..

life has dropped the many problems and pains..
but you were by far the worse..
i can not stop thinking of your beautiful face that kissed my cheecks..
the soft delicate hands that held mines..
the warm hearted hugs that was given to me..
and i let it slip away.. away from me..
because i knew, i knew i was not good enough for you.
i'm sorry for not telling you in the first place.
instead i disguised myself as the boy everyone wants..

at war.

you are a soldier in war. and the circumstances has changed.. you are the soldier on the battle field fighting on through the pain. no one is left just you fending off the stress. and the battling isnt over far from it. and take a step back and march forward. because the prize the goal you seek. is only where you left it. 

sheer image

in this life. you will find one love.
you will find one trust. its a must.
if this life. you will search for paradise.
you will search for passion and contentment.

and after all the battle that wages in this life.
you find the strength to move on and live on.
it might not be the same as you started it.
but never forget you live this life. not them.

in this life. you will see torture and pain.
you will see the world fall in front of you.
in this life. you will feel others depression
you will hear their cries for forgivness.

and after what you've seen and heard.
would you stand up and meet them?
would you lend the hand of helping or stand and      
  watch them burn in the fire they bathe in?

in this life. you will live death and breathe it.
you will live the life that was giving to us.
in this life, you will breathe all the experiences you need plus more
and in this life its up to you to teach the youngs from your mistakes and give them the advice of the beautiful things you've seen.

heh..

i find myself searching for something i found all along..
and the stupid part about it, is that now its gone.
in someone elses arms being held strong..
and now im sitting here in the darkness writing songs..

i drink so i can try to forget your beautiful face..
and no matter what i do.. your smile cant be phased..
i wake up each morning thinking of that day..
and knowing i was an idiot for letting it fade...

now im on top of this moutain screaming for you...
and im looking at the stars... in this world for two..
the moon is gone.. forever.. what am i suppose to do?
im standing here knowing theres nothing left to prove..

hidden words.

we met in college, and finished together.. and you were always ahead of me. we drive in these cars all alone.. and now we have our jobs, yours and mines.. i watched you get married to another guy, as i got married to another bride.. we moved along. new kids and a new home.. you are happy and so am i? we move along vacations left and right..
and i get divorced and im alright? nice guy gets fcuked over.. but he is too nice to even care? you are my only friend the only one that was there. you helped me get back on my feet :] and we moved along. you are a ceo and and i lost my job.. what else can go wrong? you helped me once more wanting nothing in return.. im eighty now laying in a hospital bed.. only person next to me was you. i hand you a letter that was really torn up and told you to read it at 11:11. 11:11 comes up and she open it and it reads " heh.. i dont know how to put this.. but i fell in love with you the first day i met you. from the first time i saw you smile at me i knew you were the one. and i wanted to show you i liked you. but you grew fond of other guys. so i kept this to myself. and became the bestfriend you never had. im happy im still in your life. and i know life will bring you great things.. and i know i will never be as proud as you. but i am proud enough to call you my friend. i still love you after all this time.. and i wished you would of known how i felt.. but i couldn't bring down your life to where i was. so instead of being with you, i was by you as your bestfriend. and i cant stop loving you no matter how much i tried.. i try to fall in love with another but couldnt.. i tried to work and be on my own, but my feelings got to me. lost my job, lost my friends.. but i didnt lose you. i was at the lowest of my low and you helped me until i got back on my feet. and at night i cry because its soo hard to keep this feeling inside. so i got a tattoo of your name on my chest. no one knows. and i promised myself that i would tell you i loved you before die. but i never found the courage too.. so each day i wait for the perfect time to tell you.. and im still waiting..." as she looks up at him.. he smiles as he slowly fades into his sleep... no words no sound. and she starts to tear and says " my dear.. i always loved you but i didnt know you loved me.." as she holds his hands she found a note that read " this is my only chance to say this but, i love you" she breaks down and grasp him tightly screaming " COME BACK TO ME!!"

flash backs

everytime i look at my phone, i hear your voice floating through my mind. and everytime i blink my eyes, i see you all around me. and everytime i feel lonely i feel you holding my hands. and when i lay my head to rest i feel you next to me.. and when i look inside myself, i see you in my arms in my heart..  and each time i look at my phone, i hear no ones voice.. each time i blink my eyes i dont see anything, and when i feel lonely, im there alone. and when i lay my head to rest i feel cold, and when i look inside myself i find me holding memories and this broken heart.

._.

can you please, pass me, the antidote for my mind..
because it seems, that you, poisoned me so well
im lost inside, of those bright stary eyes..
and i cant seem, to find my way out...
and i find myself in these mindless cries..

i dont know what to do..
and i feel like migrating  alone..
because everywhere i go.. everything i do..
i feel out of placed... especially around you.
and i find myself in these empty thoughts..

what are the reasons that make me feel this way..
and it sucks so bad.. that i have to stay away
i wish i can change my mind from the way that it is..
one thought to another it can not resist..
and i find myself feeling colder more and more everyday..

last few words

so my body, starts to crawl
and my eyes, hasnt seen so clear..
and i fall.. on this ground..
and i have, nothing left to fear.
i am stuck, in the past..
so can you, forgive me..

i know that, i've done you wrong

[chorus]
sometimes i, wonder why
am i,  still waiting for you...
sometimes i, think of what.... we use to do
you are so beautiful..  you are the kind of girl.
who plays with hearts so much.. and now you have my world..

as my body, starts to fail..
and my eyes, starts to see stars..
and i know, my time is up
all i have, are these memories of you..
as im singing, these last few words..
can you forgive.. for letting you hurt..

i know that, i've done you wrong..

[chorus]
sometimes i, wonder why
am i,  still waiting for you...
sometimes i, think of what.... we use to do
you are so beautiful..  you are the kind of girl.
who plays with hearts so much.. and now you have my world..

i know that, i've done you wrong
and i know that, i've done you wrong..
and im singing, these last few words..
can you forgive me.. for letting you hurt..

http://i44.tinypic.com/2v3j9xj.jpg

picture for song by catherine luong

sunshine

sunshine, bright sunny day :]
its so clear, no rain is heading my way..
i use to mope and only dwell in the past.
but now looking back at it all, all i can do is laugh
i cant believe i wasted soo much time
the time what was rightfully mines..
i still love you oh yes i do.
i never forget all the times we shared.
its tattooed in my heart, will always be there
but its better to be happy for me than cry for you
and its ok if you forget me.. i wont forget you

sunshine oh this sunshine is lighting up my days :]
and i actually think its beautiful in every way
and when your love for me fades away..
just know i still think of you everyday
i use to sit in the dark and just hide from the world..
and i only did this because of you, girl
now that i opened in a way?
i hope more sunlight will head this way.
and they may say im lying just putting up an act
but fcuk it they say whatever they want to say..
i might not be as happy as i say i am.
but im happy enough to move on..

driven

Save me from being me.. being what i dont want to be..
Save yourself from the pain.. that only rains in my heart..
I thought we had something here! here together..
I thought it was real! always forever..
Now i'm looking at pictures of you and me..
And i've been thinking..

oh why, why has it come to this..
and im sitting here alone.. with you that i miss..
cutting my wrist is now soo hard to resist..
and being here all on my own.. is all that i got

left and right i turn and weave...
your beautiful face only hid what can decieve..
and i think about what we already did..
and i just turn away from you..

i need you.

why cant you see, what i've become..
why cant you see, i'm too young.. to fall the way i did..
to fall on my knees..
i really thought.. you were the one..
but i guess we were too young.. to fall in love the way we did..
to fall on our knees..

[chorus]
i cant let go..
i can not breathe
what do i do..
why cant you see!
i need you.
what do i do.. without you here..

walking in.. to see your face..
your hands in his.. my mind goes blank..
and im on my knees..
i said i'm sorry.. that im to blame..
forget me now.. forget my name..
im begging please..

[bridge]
oh please.. take this curse you have on me..
let me go.. leave me be..
im tired of this rain in my eyes..
i think im ready for this goodbye..

[chorus]
i cant let go..
i can not breathe
what do i do..
why cant you see!
i need you.
what do i do.. without you here..
[chorus]
i cant let go..
i can not breathe
what do i do..
why cant you see!
i need you.
what do i do.. without you here..

Check Mate?

I'm still here waiting day and night..
Wonder if it will change.. will it be alright..
I'm tired of this game.. im not ready to lose..
Especially if the prize is you..
And i still dont understand why..
Why dont you know..

TicTacToe three in a row..
I'm not ready to let this go..
In your eyes you know the truth..
That we belong me and you..
We use to be soo happy
Being king and queen..

Where is my throne.. where is my bride?
I am here alone.. not ready to cry..
Looking at the stars,the moon the sky..
And thinking of the time when our heart alined..
I know you still think of me like i think of you..
But the only difference is you dont know what to do.

Me

Another weekend and im out with the boys..
But my mind is only concentrated on you..
Driving and being on these streets we roam..
Been here so long it became my new home.
You float through my mind just like a fish in the sea
And i just want to drive to you; because you're the only one i want to see..

Late nights looking at the stars..
And im sitting alone here in this car.
Wondering what you are doing.. where you are..
You became all i can think of..
You are like a drug..

Can't sleep just rolling in bed..
And im just thinking of the words you said..
Eyes close and all i can picture is you..
Out of sight out of mind you became apart of me..
How can i let go of something that is me..

failing me now..

The walls starts to breathe
It begins to talk to me..
Telling me... all that ive done wrong..
and now it starts to sing a song..
" i see you crying at night"
"i see you trying to sleep it away"
"i cant tell if you're going to be alright"
"but i know it wont fade away"
The walls begins to breathe..
it starts to talk to me..
Telling me.. all that it seen..
and now its singing
"its too late to fight.."
"its too late to know if your right"
"its too late to give it up!"
"but its too early to know it if was love"

fantasy

searching for the longest most wanted thing in the world.

love

and when i finally thought i held it in these hands of mines..

it was just dirt that i picked up

it hurted when i thought i found love in you..

and after what we shared i was the one that was destine to lose..

and i wonder why i still cant let it go

why cant i let you go..

was it really love that found and let slip away?

was it really what i was searching for in everyway?

i was alive for the first time when i looked into your eyes

i never felt like that for a long time.. so long.

and now its been a year we shared... and is it really gone?

i know i was stupid but i know i wasnt wrong.

i knew you were too good for a kid like me.

and im glad i had you in the first place 

and brought me back into reality, when i was just living in fantasy..

dead and gone

driving down the streets, driving with no where to go..
feeling its time, its time to jump out of the car!
because why live a life without a love story to tell..
and maybe my time is up! goodbye farewell.

as im rolling away from the car..
all i see now is the light up stars
screaming " TAKE ME AWAY!"
im done feeling this pain.
afterall its all the same!

tearing up my insides..
you came into my life.
and you took it with you
now you cant seperate yourself!

all i hear now is the ambulance singing..
trying to save what cant be saved
and im singing to myself la la la, la la
dont even try, dont waste your time
im dead and gone

one day

one day i'll see the sunshine lighting my way

until then all i see is thunder and pouring rain.

and its ok, because its all the same.

just different days..

one day i'll find myself again

until then its a stranger looking in the mirror..

and its ok, because no one knows..

its not me.

one day i'll pick myself up

until then i'll crawl towards the sky..

and its ok, because after all

everyone dies.

one day i'll be who i was

until then i'll lie to myself telling myself its ok

and its ok, because no one knows..

i died already..

i cant be found.

will you always be shooting down my stars?
its amazing how much damage you can do from a far..
and im lost again and im not ready to be found..
im thinking again.. but where do i start? from here..
lovely memories will never fade away..
and im just singing la la la
telling myself everyone will be ok
when will this all be over!
when can i start over!
i dont think that time will come... never.
i swore to you i wont be happy without you here..
havent smiled since..

why did time have to take you away..
why dont i deserve a happy ending?
just like the one you have
life isnt fair without love..
so i hope you found someone to hug, for alittle while
maybe im ok.. im such in denial.
when time is back on my side..
i hope i have someone to share it with.

dreaming

if i can ride a star back into my dreams..
i would try to find what was real..
because after all; all i thought everything was real..
i feel as though i was dreaming for all these years..
and when i finally woke up.. all i saw was tears
in my eyes all i saw was you..
how can i solve my problem when its miles away?
how can i find myself when i was lost long ago?
everything i thought i knew was in you..