his love story

when we use to be kids and i was sitting behind you in class..
i use to stare at you and when you saw i turned away and laughed.
i loved waiting with you for our bus to come..
and maybe i was too young to even know this was love.
one day waiting for the bus it started to rain. and we had no umbrella
and i looked over and saw you with a sad look on your face
so i put my hands over your head to cover you from the rain
you looked at me with your special eyes and smiled that melted my heart.
i knew then i've done something that made you happy.

from that day on i walked you home when we got off the bus.
and i held your hands we giggled because this was new to us
each day i waited for you at the bus stop where we stand.
and you came walking with a bigger smile each day
you looked at me with your mesmerizing eyes..
sparkled like the stars brighter than the sky
on the bus we sat together and stared out the window..
talked about what we wanted when we grow up.
and who we wanted to be

in class i would write love notes and pass them to you
and it sucked when the teacher would find them and read it out loud
it embarrassed me so i looked away and grinned :]
at lunch we ate together your best friend and my best friend too
and i held your hands under the table because i liked you
we sat and talked about if we would always be like this..
and i told you of course always forever, promised with a kiss
you smiled and hugged me tight..and i knew we will always be alright.

we got older and went to highschool
instead of taken the bus we drove in car pools
instead of holding hands i held you by the waist. and our kissing went up a few levels..
and love hasnt felt anymore real than this. our talks became more vidal and meant so much more.
and went out for longer sitting in the dark at beach line shores.
i told myself i wanted you and nothing more.

as we got older so did your love for me.
each day that passed by you're fading away from me
and i still love you madly so constantly
and you wanted to break so you can see whats out there..what happen to always forever? do you still care?
now i see you in someone elses arms
i go crazy because we both know this is wrong
but you are happy and thats all that matters now.
even if its not with me.

i went to a party and saw you with him.
i got mad so i drank the pain away.. the more i drank the more i saw of you..
so i sat in a room alone and wrote a small note to myself
and you came in and sat next to me and asked " why do you still love me?" and i said to you " because you were my first love and my only love; no one can change."
you smiled at me and kissed my forehead and walked out.

i left the party by myself and drunk as i am i tried to find my way home.
walking around for hours clueless in these streets.
a car was speeding and rammed into me. as i flew into the air my shoes flew off my feet.
the impact knocked a hole in me. as i lie there bleeding to my death..
you came running to me; and said "im sorry.. im sorry." i said "for what?""
my boyfriend was driving and didnt pay attention" "dont worry everything happens for a reason"

i pulled the note out of my pocket and it was dripped in blood; i gave it to her.the ambulance was singing its song very loud.. took me in and drove to the hospital. but before they took me away i smiled at her one last time. as i was driving away i saw her crying...

as i saw the ambulance drive off; i opened the note that he handed to me. it read

my goddess my love and my all.
im sorry i couldnt keep you in love with thee at all.
love has its games and the stories it tells.
and our love was just another chapter in its tale.
i may not make you love me like when we were kids.
but i said i'll always forever and i sealed it with a kiss.
life has changed all that we know.
but my love for you is strong.
if death is the last way i can tell you how much i feel.
well then.
i love you always and never lost love in you at all.
i loved all the little things we did. like standing in the rain.
i love how much we grew up together
and i always thought it would be forever
its fine the way that it ended :]
because you are happy and im happy that you are.



at the bottom of the letter there was a smudge
it was his lips. and it said.
always forever,promised with a kiss

a flash back began and i remember sitting at a lunch table with him when he told me that.
i cried because i forgot who really loved me.
and my true love died for my selfishness..